Deeply Rooted

in brick and concrete

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There is a difference between saying something and having it become real…
This week, ministry and figuring out how committed I am to these kids and this ministry is coming into realization.
I am 22 and I am figuring out my future and my life. It is all becoming very real to me, very quickly.

My life is not my own.
And this life, there is a lot that I have to give up.

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ministry breaks you

It breaks your heart from the inside out.

Be careful when you ask God to break your heart for what breaks his. To break your heart for a group of people, because when that happens, there is no turning back….

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We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home.

I am pouring out myself again and again. I am often heart broken by things I see and the stories I hear. My Harlem kids are my heros, to choose hope, when all around them is hopeless is one of the strongest things I have ever seen. I have always loved this quote, but it has been the start of this past chapter of my life that it has truly come alive. I can say with certainty how difficult it can be, to be a lover, bold in a broken place. Because it breaks you from the inside out. To love, when sometimes it is rejected because of how overwhelmingly needed it is.
But, I also know this is the only way for me to live. Bold in the brokenness, screaming out at the top of my lungs that there is a Savior who’s grace can cover their past and their present and their future, a friend who wants to listen, a counselor who wants to comfort, A shepherd that wants to guide, and a Father who loves with a love that is un-comprehendible. There are moments that I just want to shake them and tell them THIS is who they get to live for. There is a God who is un- fathomably in love with them, who is standing there just waiting for them to run into his arms and be still in his presence.

My heart has surely broken, and it does more and more every day for New York, for Harlem, for Drew Hamilton. But I am overwhelmingly sure that It is the ONLY way.
Until I am called home.

Filed under real talk ministry life the need is the call if you wait for a call you will miss it